All For One
by Klicks
Summary: In which Walker gets himself into a spot of trouble, and the rest of the platoon attempt to bail him out.


It was all rather quiet this evening, thought Sergeant Wilson as he sat in Captain Mainwaring's office, waiting patiently for the aforementioned Captain's arrival and the beginning of the parade. Normally, the noise and rabble of the platoon was plain to hear, but today, everything seemed rather hushed and... Strange. Absently, the Sergeant wondered whether anything had happened...

At this moment, the door clicked open and in came Captain George Mainwaring himself, dressed in an immaculate uniform with his little cap set firmly upon his balding head. He raised a hand in salute. "Evening, Wilson."

Wilson hastily pulled himself up from the Captain's chair and offered a meek smile and salute in return. "Good evening, Captain Mainwaring," he said amiably, stepping aside for the shorter man to take his seat. "May I say you are looking very smart tonight, sir."

"Oh!" Mainwaring nodded, shifting his collar and looking both surprised and pleased at the compliment. "Why thank you Wilson. That was very kind of you. Yes, indeed, there is going to be an inspection of the troops in two days' time. I thought I'd, er, better start looking my best for the Colonel when he comes to visit Walmington-On-Sea. We want to give him a good impression, you see."

"Ah, is that so?" Wilson smiled and nodded. "Very well then sir, I'd better inform the troops immediately."

"No need, no need." Interrupted Mainwaring, who was already reaching for the door. "I will do it myself."

The Home Guard was already gathered within the Church Hall, talking quietly amongst themselves. Upon the arrival of the Captain and Sergeant, they immediately split themselves into formation.

"Platoon!" Ordered Captain Mainwaring. "Atten-SHUN!"

There was the collective sound of stamping feet, followed by Corporal Jones, who, as always, struggled to get the timing.

Captain Mainwaring ignored the mistake. "Stand at EASE!"

Stamp! Stamp.

"Very good." Mainwaring nodded, even though it wasn't. "Now platoon," he began, holding on to his commanding baton. "I have a very important announcement to -" He paused suddenly, scanning his troops with a faint frown on his face. "Where's Walker?"

A harsh silence fell over the troops, who glanced at each other warily and shuffled their feet.

"No one knows?" Skeptically, the Captain strolled up and down before the lines of soldiers. He glanced at Corporal Jones, half-expecting the enthusiastic old man to speak up, but even he gulped and stared down at his feet, refusing to meet the Captain's eyes.

"Now come on chaps," coaxed Sergeant Wilson, frowning faintly. "Surely one of you must know."

"Um..." Swallowed Pike, the youngest member of the entire platoon.

Mainwaring took the chance, and moved towards the young boy. "Yes?"

"U-Um, well... Joe's been... Um..." Pike stammered, mumbling into his scarf. "I-It's... It's a long story, Captain Mainwaring, I don't really..."

"He 'ad it comin' for him, that's for sure!" Frazer grumbled under his breath.

Mainwaring paused, looking over his shoulder. "What was that, Frazer?"

"Oh, I didnae say nothin', Captain." Growled the old Scotsman, his hands clasped firmly behind his back. "I jus' said that he 'ad it comin', is all."

"'Had it coming?'" Repeated Captain Mainwaring in disbelief. "Well, whatever do you mean?"

"Permission to speak, sir!" Spoke Corporal Jones at last, blinking earnestly at the Captain. "I think what Private Pike and Private Frazer meant is that... well..." The old man shifted nervously. "We don't think Private Walker will be able to come back for some time."

"Whatever do you mean?" Captain Mainwaring stared, now thoroughly alarmed.

"Oh no, Captain Mainwaring, he's not dead or anything." Pike cut in reassuringly. "It's just that, um... He's in a little bit o' trouble, you see."

"I wish you would get to the point Frank, please." Sighed Wilson, putting a hand to his forehead. "All this beating about the bush is rather… _perplexing_."

"Well, sorry Uncle Arthur, but I thought you knew!" Pike retorted, somewhat defensively.

"Don't call him that during parades." Added Captain Mainwaring, more out of habit than anything else.

"Mum and I were talking about it at breakfast." Pike continued, nodding eagerly. "Don't you remember? Y'know, about Private Walker and..." he made a vague head gesture. "... You know. What he did."

"Oh... Oh! Yes, of course." Sighing, Wilson shook his head, smiling apologetically at Captain Mainwaring. "Oh, yes of course. So sorry, Captain Mainwaring, it just slipped my mind... Oh yes, oh dear... This isn't very good now, is it?"

"What isn't?" Snapped Mainwaring, somewhat irritated that the news had spread around the entire platoon before it could reach him.

"It's Private Walker, you see... Something's... happened to him." Wilson said, clasping his hands together. "Oh dear, sir... I'm not quite sure how to put it..."

"Oh get on with it!" Growled Mainwaring impatiently, waving a hand. "We don't have all day."

"Yes, well... I'm afraid that Private Walker is..." Here Wilson paused, as though to add to the drama. "... in jail."

"In jai- I beg your pardon?!" Started Captain Mainwaring, his face flushing bright red with both fury and shock. "In _jail_? What on earth for?!"

"What do ye think?" Scoffed Frazer, earning some laughter from the troops.

"W-Well sir, it's rather complicated, you see." Wilson explained, a little too non-chalantly for Mainwaring's liking. "But rumour has it, and only rumour, mind you, Private Walker was found last night... with pockets worth of fake ration coupons and all forms of food and drink which should be restricted... Naturally, the officers couldn't allow this sort of thing and Walker was... well, taken in."

"Th-That is...!" Spluttered Mainwaring, for a moment unable to speak. "I don't believe this! One of my own men, in _jail_...!"

"Can't say ye didn't expect this, did ye?" Frazer huffed, rolling his eyes to Godfrey.

"B-But how could this be?" Continued Mainwaring, blinking in astonishment. "Private Walker...! I mean... He's not been caught before, doing this, has he?"

"Oh yes he has." Put in Pike, grinning. "Once or twice, but he's always managed to bribe his way out of it."

"Not this time, he ain't." Frazer shook his head. "Ooh, aye, I knew he 'ad it comin' to him a long time ago. I told him, I said: 'Joe, me lad. This business ain't good fer yer. One day,' I said, 'one day, you'll 'ave it comin' to ye.' And did he listen, nay, he just continued as always, meddling about with all his... _black_ market trades...!"

"I thought you was always buying stuff off him?" Frowned Pike, thoroughly puzzled.

"W-Well..." The Scotsman spluttered, embarrassed. "Th-That was...!"

"Well, what are we going to do?" Mainwaring exclaimed, agitated. "I can't have this happening with the Colonel coming down to inspect us! What will he say when he hears one of my men is in _jail_? I-I mean, what will happen to our reputation as a Home Guard? No one can trust us if they know one of us were sent to jail for... for illegal activity? There will be talk all over the town! We will be ruined!"

"Permission to speak, sir!" Corporal Jones volunteered, at once back to his normal self. "I propose that we go and look for Joe, sir. And we can rescue him and have him back on the parade like nothing's happened!"

"… Yes, well, I'm afraid legal matters aren't as simple as that, Jones." Administered Captain Mainwaring with a faint hint of exasperation. "What do you think we are, the Avengers? We can't go around breaking into government prisons and expect to walk away scot free!"

"Well, sir, I don't really want to leave Joe in there either." Pike said suddenly, and somewhat defensively. "He's always been able to get my Mum some extra cheese and meat when we were short. Oh, and sugar too! You know I don't like tea without lots of sugar, isn't that right, uncle Arthur?"

"Yes, yes, Frank." Said Sergeant Wilson somewhat distractedly. "I think that's quite enough."

"And he knows how much Uncle Arthur likes to have his cheese on toast! He's always slipping up little titbits of food and whiskey too!" Here the boy hesitated. "Though me mam says I shouldn't really drink until I'm older, but he gets us lots of other stuff as well! You remember those pairs of knickers he got for Mum the other day...?"

"Alright, Frank, please, do be quiet." Interrupted Wilson, more firmly now. "And I would like it very much if you would call them 'undergarments' instead."

"I was only saying!" Protested Pike, sticking his hands in his pockets.

"Yes, well..." Captain Mainwaring shot both men an unamused look. "I would rather not hear about your... dark dealings, Wilson."

"But, er, Captain Mainwaring sir?" This time, it was Godfrey who stepped forward, the gentle old man blinking with his warm, sincere eyes. "I'm afraid I must agree with Corporal Jones and Private Pike sir, I-I-I do feel quite fond of, er, Private Walker. He's been very good to me and my sister Dolly. Without him, we would never be able to have any of Dolly's, er, wonderful upside down cakes. There just isn't enough ingredients, you see, sir..."

"Don't ye also have... dealings with Private Walker, eh, Captain Mainwaring?" Frazer threw in casually, a sly glint in his eyes.

Captain Mainwaring cleared his throat.

"Oh... Er... Well..." He mumbled, clearing his throat once again. "O-Occasionally, you know, for the platoon. He always has something to offer for our troops, so of course, I've bought the odd bit of supply and, er, weaponry..." Here he paused, rubbing his cheeks absent-mindedly. "I-It's not much, really. I very, _very_ rarely buy any... food or such off him."

"So why does he go to your office every Monday morning with a bottle of brandy and then leave without it?" Pointed out Frazer.

Mainwaring opened and closed his mouth, whilst Wilson chuckled quietly.

"I don't believe that's any of your business." He retorted hotly, and the Scotsman gave an impatient harrumph in response.

"Permission to speak, sir!" Exclaimed Corporal Jones once more, raising his hand. "I think, sir, since everyone seems so adamant on saving Private Walker, we should at least go and visit him in prison, shouldn't we? I know it could be awfully cold in the cells, and I think, I think it would be nice, sir, if we all went and gave him a bit of company. I can bring some sausages for him, if you want."

"O-Oh yes," said Godfrey. "My sister Dolly bakes very good pies. I-I can bring some in for him, if you want, Captain Mainwaring. A nice, warm pie for winter."

"Well, isn't this lovely?" Murmured Wilson, mildly. "I'm sure Private Walker would like that very much."

Captain Mainwaring turned and shot him a withering look.

"I am not having any of that." He ordered, firmly. "None of you are to bring him anything at all! We should reserve this kind of treatment for... for heroes! For our brave, British men fighting gallantly in Egypt! Not for criminals who have been sentenced to prison! No... Walker will just have to be... fired from the platoon. We can't have this here in Walmington-On-Sea! Especially with the Colonel coming to inspect us! I mean, what will people think…?"

"Oho, I see now..." Frazer crooned, glaring steadily in Captain Mainwaring's directions. "This is how you treat a man who risked his life getting you your weekly bottle of brandy!"

Mainwaring fell silent. Behind him, Wilson smiled, slowly.

"Oh, very well." The Captain spoke at last, his tone heavy and defeated. "You four will meet Sergeant Wilson and I back in the church hall at ten past eight."

"Twenty ten, sir." Corrected Wilson calmly.

Captain Mainwaring ignored him. "We will meet here at ten past eight," he repeated, as though to spite his Sergeant. "Tonight. Bring whatever you feel is necessary, and we shall go and visit Walker. The rest of you are dismissed for tonight."

With that, the short, pompous Captain turned and strode towards his office, followed quickly by Sergeant Wilson, who merely smiled as mysteriously as he always did.

* * *

**AN: **Ah, Dad's Army... I love it so and I'm suddenly writing for it... XD I hope I haven't disappointed any fans or the original writers and actors who I really, truly admire.

Anyway, this turned out surprisingly easy to write for. I couldn't stop typing and everyone just sort of... leapt on to the pages. I hope it's not too OOC and that I haven't failed too dramatically... Eep.

In a sense, this is a small tribute to everyone who worked to make Dad's Army so great but are sadly not with us today. **Arthur Lowe, John Le Mesurier, Clive Dunn, James Beck, Arnold Ridley, John Laurie **and **David Croft**. You are greatly missed by all people British.

Stay tuned! I plan to write more. :)


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